Ginsberg's Theorem:

(1) You can't win.
(2) You can't break even.
(3) You can't even quit the game.

Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem:

Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's
Theorem. To wit:

(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can breakeven.
(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

Swiped from dragorn.