Everything moves along. Everything is fine, fine, fine, fine.

posted 2003.05.01 at 04:21 by solios

The Soviets would be doing some big parade thing right now, were they still around. But they're not. So I'm sitting here, with Soul Coughing, Delerium, RSI, IRC, and a nice warmish breeze that smells like spring. At a third past four in the morning.

Once again stuck attempting to capture a moment. Mixed media looks like it's going to be the Only Way. I could bitch about everything I want to do that requires some specific thing I don't have and can't afford. I used to do that a lot, in reference to my skills.

Times change.

Else, why would I be a penciller, inker, writer, video editor, compositor, cinematographer, digital photographer, systems administrator, audio editor, etceteras, etceteras?

Perpetual distraction is the name of the game. Lock down an issue and leave it behind- use distance and time as the resolving factor rather than bothering to explore the underlying nature. Ease of use versus quality results. Lab trials versus field. It's been 7 years since I set that I was going to do a Thing and I have plenty of groundwork and no product. I doubt I have what it takes in the traditional sense, but the ultimate caveate has always been one of source material. I've always been into the weirder shit more than the pedestrian shit, and that's Bad for the most part, considering the extent and the fact that the idea here is to actually make a living being me, telling my story, saying the things I want to say. Fictionally.

Funny. Almost the entire above paragraph was output on the left side of the keyboard. Fingers dancing around in a circle. LOC works into Alias works into Han Dold works into Titanium Dreams becomes Lithium is Aeon. Minus the fact everything I'm outputting goes in a different direction, which is generally unrelated with little common ground.

So it's a bridge, or it's a burn. One or the other. Things seem to be shifting more in a burn direction, with bridge elements. Western Union, if you will. Sitting in between. Hopefully- fucking hopefully - working back towards where things existed around 1997 or so, in which the bulk of creative output existed, unfocused, on one plane.

Whee fun.

Tis the season for taking care of the Old Moldy business- things left unadressed. Explains why gender dysphoria bit me in the ass again, though to be honest it's more of a nibble. Explains LOC focus and design work. Explains the fact that it is five am, and I am listening to Los Angeles. Explains a lot, really. Even the resurgance in video games.

Narrowing the focus, and thinking about Things from an angle I haven't thought along in years. Since West End. Since the 20th century. Possibly earlier. Since Ever.

Great. New view. Closer this time around than last. Xeno's 25 today. I have exactly 50 days to meet my own personal deadline. Starting this shit in my 23rd year, which is running out fast.

From Pittsburgh, good morning.